Beginning Thoughts...

I'm so glad that you posted this!!! You have entered my mind several times over the last two weeks... Here're just some initial responses:

- I don't think the Bible allows for secret Christians. The only part that comes to my head that's even close is the part about going into your closet and shutting the door to pray... but that section of Scripture is an admonition against pride more than an allowance for secrecy--and it has to do with prayer, not sharing the gospel.

- I'm really thinking about your first question. If you state your intentions, etc., beforehand, is going through the ceremony ok? I don't know. The closest thing that I can compare this to would be attending Buddhist funerals in Japan. It is a HUGE slap in the face to the family and the deceased if an attender of the funeral doesn't pray at a small Buddhist shrine that is passed around during the funeral ceremony. Some Christians that I know say that as long as a Christian makes the sign of the cross before praying at the shrine, he or she is ok because it has been clearly communicated that the person is praying to Christ instead of to the spirit of the deceased (which reminds me of you clearly stating your intentions and beliefs before going ahead). Some Christians (my pastor is one) just go ahead and pray at the shrine, but pray to Christ. Some Christians (like me) have prayed at the shrine, but I don't ever want to again. I think if I asked my pastor, he would say that it is ok to pray at the shrine because he's communicating love to those around him and he's praying to the true God.

- Is God big enough to handle whatever you do? YES. :) What will that look like?--I don't have a clue. Sorry, that's probably not helpful at all...

- A couple of questions come to mind right away:

How will this communicate true love to her family? Will they know you guys love and respect them because you are putting them higher than your religious affiliation? That's what it still sounds like--to me, who doesn't understand the whole situation obviously! When you ask them if there is a different way to communicate your love and respect for them, what do they say? Is there any other way/any other suggestion? Can you tell them that forced, fake obedience is NOT showing love?

How would you go about stating your intentions/beliefs before the ceremony? Could it be used as a time to witness and share those beliefs in love? Would those beliefs and statements just be manipulated? Can we trust God to use them for His glory? Oy...

Sorry...this is probably just more confusing! I'll be praying for you, and let you know if more comes to mind...and let me know how you're doing with it all too, and what you're thinking! Who else have you talked to? Has anything been helpful thus far?

I miss you, brother. Your writing reminded me of both your excitement (I can't believe you are still focusing on the rent-a-DCO project! That's awesome!:)) and the struggles (detoxing for a week, etc.)... :) Thanks for being real and sharing your questions--though I pretty much suck at giving clear, discerning answers--I'll pray! :)

Keep me updated...blessings of wisdom and guidance!

Help?... I mean HELP!

Hey, Sorry I've been gone from this thing for so long! I've been keeping busy with the Rent-A-DCO thing... I know, its impressive I'm still jazzed about it. What can I say? When I commit to something, I really commit. Then Jaimee and I spent a week in Myrtle Beach, SC, followed by a week in Germany. Then one of Jaimee's little korean-chick friends came back with us from MD, and literally drank me under the table for a week, after which I needed a serious detox. So I was on a 7-day fast last week, while beginning an accelerated online course with School of Continuing Studies. CRAZY times.

Well as you may or may not have seen on your other blog, I need your attention and wisdom on a very important cross cultural issue involving your exact expertise. As previously mentioned, I was fasting, and praying, although mainly just detoxing. But a it happens I was praying about Jaimee's well-being and such in my prayers last night. Then this evening we go out to dinner so I can break my fast with an awesome wedge salad from Friday's when she hits me with this:

Apparently, Jaimee's family has been pressuring her again to get us to go the "blessing" (her family's church's wedding ceremony), usually we'd give the regular "no" response and move on. However, they've taken a different approach this time that is making me want to get all the advice I can from the Big Guns. Thats right, I count you as a spiritual Big Gun :=) So here goes...

They want us to get blessed, not as a religious ceremony (although it is), and not to appease her father (although that is a factor), but because in her family's eyes, they don't feel she loves them. Because we've been completely uncompromising (I disagree).

Also, they aren't asking for us to necessarily believe any part of their religion (although I'm pretty sure the father does), but want this done as a matter of respect towards the family and their culture. We even have the option of clarifying our intentions and beliefs before going through with the ceremony. So, I know you need time to chew on things and even then I probably won't get the straightforward answer I'd like, lol, so no pressure to do this in a bullet point style. I've just been mulling this over all day and you're the person I felt lead to ask.

What do you think?

1) I know we have the responsibility to care for the conscience of our neighbors. But if we're completely honest about our intentions and beliefs before hand then does that "wash our hands" of the responsibility?

2) I know the meaning of this ceremony is akin to LCMS doctrine on Baptism. But is my God too small if I think this nullifies something in my faith?

3) Do you know anyone in Japan who has had to deal with this issue as it relates to Japanese culture or religious ceremonies?

4) You told me a story once about your pastor and you going to a Buddhist funeral. Is he around to comment on the situation at all?

5) In Japanese culture (or Korean if you know an expert) if you are the one who caused offense, how do you right the wrong? Especially when its a matter of such dishonor as family?

There is this amazing book called "Miracle of Miracles." Its about these two Iranian Muslims who become Christians in Iran. They're forced to live as secret Christians, and are eventually married, as Muslims, to one another, the whole time not knowing the other is Christian also. The story goes on, and its just a beautiful story.

But there is something bothering about this story to me, which Jaimee confronted me with. Is there anything falsifying about their faith, just because their culture forced them to live their faith in secret?

Every LCMS bone in me (there aren't many) says YES. But... there is a part of me saying NO. I need some serious help sorting through this. HELP!